Detox your B*tchy inner critic.

This week, my inner critic has been loud. This part of me is not kind. She’s actually a real bitch. She’s mean to me and she’s mean to others. I call this part of me Queen Critique. She resides in the back of my head and just throws out the most heinous judgments without warning. 

She sounds like: 

• You’re a fucking fraud. 

• Nothing you do is worthy. 

• You’re going to try that? You’re cringe AND full of shit. 

• Ew, you’re so gross. 

• You’re not worthy of that opportunity - in fact, you’re the absolute fucking worst choice for that opportunity, so don’t even try. 

Queen Critique is a real mean girl. And she swears a lot. 

When she’s in the driver's seat, I make myself small and I lick my wounds. When I’m in this spiral, it’s easy to get stuck here. 

Here’s the only strategy that works for me - a Judgement Detox (I learned this phrase from Gabby Bernstein, but I do it differently). 

I talk to Queen Critique directly.

Here’s how:  

1. Acknowledge - I thank her for protecting me. She’s told me that her purpose is to protect me - if she can keep me small, then I’m less likely to be judged OUT THERE. Smart, actually. And sometimes she just wants to be acknowledged for all the hard work she’s doing. 

2. Pause - I ask if she’s willing to wait in my waiting room for a minute. She always does because it's stocked with snacks. 

3. Get Curious - Once she’s in the waiting room, I tick through Byron Katie's 4 Questions- most of you who have worked with me know the ones! 

1. Is it true? 

2. Can I absolutely know it’s true? 

3. What happens when I believe this thought? 

4. Who would I be without the thought? 

4. Shift Gears - This is where I notice the shift. With the first 3 steps (99% of the time), I’ve transmuted the judgment into kindness, gratitude and soft confidence. So from this new feeling state, I invite QC back and ask her if she’s willing to shift into the gear of discernment. I need and welcome her here. She always does because she’s rested, fed and her needs are met. From Discernment, she sounds like:

   1. Think twice about that advice.

   2. You’re hesitating. Why? Trust your intuition.

   3. Just because something is common, doesn’t mean it’s right. Chart you’re own path.

5. Act accordingly. Onward and outward in alignment. 

I don’t want to live in a world where we’re ruled by our inner critics. It doesn’t feel good and it doesn’t give me the results I’m ultimately looking for - beauty, safety, connection. 

I want to live in a world where we’re ruled by kind discernment. If you’re still reading this, then my hunch is you do too. If you want support with the journey, let’s talk.

And GOOD NEWS: if I can do it during my luteal phase- anyone can do it. 

Whew.

<3 Bekah